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For a good man
menopause is a bitch,
turning a good woman
into a witch! 

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L ike a hound pointing to its game, the Spring Breaker followed his boner to his condo with the blond co-ed in tow. She had stepped up to the beer bong thrice and could barely walk. He led her into his room and stripped her of her thong as if he were peeling a banana. He was soon straddling her when he stopped an inch short of entering her shaved pussy. "I must confess something," he said. "What?" she slurred. "I have tested positive for HIV." "Have you tested positive for Coronavirus?" she asked. "No." "Then let's fuck, cowboy!!!" 
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Don Pedro: I'm sitting here at The Sportsman with a hot prostitute and a cold beer. What do I call her "hot"? Because she fucks me for free. She respects her elders. When worse comes to worse, she gives me a senior discount. Who is the mayor plundering today? I was going to use "fucking," but plundering evokes "raping," which I don't want to associate with the positive image I have of "fucking." If it weren't for the anticipation of my next fuck, I don't think I would get up in the morning. Back to plundering: Who is county judge plundering today? Who is the the bishop buttfucking today? I mean plundering today? Who is Trump plundering today? Or who isn't Trump plundering today? We know who The Brownsville Herald is plundering today. The newspaper is plundering its readers by writing about the mayor, the county judge, the state senator and the president's wonderful contributions to our community. And who am I plundering to...
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"Make America great again," says Donald Trump. At The Murphy Report we're not quite sure when America was great--a few shining moments don't equate to greatness--but this delusional goal will not be consummated with Trump in office, his idea of consummation measured by the number of harlots he fucks. Even though Fox News is proclaiming that, with the exception of Jesus Christ, we're fortunate to have this pathological liar leading us to the Promised Land of health and wealth, the truth is the opposite. Until he realized that he couldn't talk his way out of the Coronavirus peril, he was leading us to hell in a handbasket. This prevaricator, waving his hands madly that he is the victim of hoaxes and conspiracies, never accepted the warnings of the world's best scientists. He knew more than they as a result of his gut feeling. We find Trump despicable. When Trump dies and St. Peter performs an autopsy on his wretched soul, he will discover that it is black wi...
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