5

I was standing at the bar at Cobbleheads when I saw owner Joe Kenney walking past. I grabbed him by the bicep.

"Pretty flabby for a guy from Phillly," I said.

"Fuck you, Sully," snapped Joe before continuing with that goofy accent. "What do you want?"

"I didn't get a chance to wish you Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'd pinch you on the butt since you're not wearing green, but you have a lousy lookin' ass. Let's toast the San Patricio Battalion."

"A bunch of filthy traitors," spat Joe. "General Scott should have hung all the bastards instead of branding the majority of them."

"You were in the Herald saying that Mexico and the United States had special ties as a result of these Irishmen switching sides in a war that Abraham Lincoln criticized as imperialism run amok."

"It's all about business," confessed Joe. "I can't express my true sentiments about those Benedict Arnolds. I have customers who buy into the myth about the noble San Patricio Battalion."

"So you were bullshitting in the article?"

"You are a bigger pendejo, Sully, than I thought you were. If I had been President Polk, I would have sent the Texas Rangers into Mexico and dragged those Irish cowards back to the U.S. and strung them up here."

I like Joe. He's like the anonymous contributors to the blogs. It's not about the messenger, they argue. It's about the message.

It's a story I've told ad nauseum, but I love evoking the image of my father. Like most Irish, he liked alcohol. Beer was his poison of choice and he could drink on Saturdays and Sundays from the late morning until the wee hours.

He'd be sitting in front of the television filled with growing fury as Notre Dame fell further behind when he would thunder, "Do you know, kids, who are the most despicable people on the face of the earth?"

We knew the answer. We had heard the question a thousand times, but we would play dumb and respond, "Who Daddy?"

"The Irish! The Irish are the most despicable people on the face of the earth!"

It was a pride that a father instilled in his children. To this day both the Murphys and Sullivans are proud to belong to a race characterized as the most despicable people on the face of the earth. This knowledge is our strength.  

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