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Dr. Polyphemous Pangloss' dog Borracho is dead.

The esteemed physician found his best friend lying dead by the side of the resaca that runs behind his home on Laredo Lane.

"He wasn't a handsome fellow because he was the odd mixture of a chihuahua and a pit bull," said Dr. Pangloss in his patio after burying his pet in a backyard garden. "But he was one of those rare examples of those whose bite was bigger than his bark."

Borracho was only five years old. Dr. Pangloss fears he may have been poisoned. Borracho had escaped the doctor's house on several occasions and had bitten as many as six neighbors.

"Borracho wasn't well-loved," continued Dr. Pangloss. "The police had visited my home with a complaint, but since I had treated the parents of both policemen and saved their lives, they asked me to please keep Borracho chained. Keep Borracho chained! I said to myself. That would be like telling Donald Trump to stop telling lies. Borracho was a free spirit.

"When I found him, his mouth was covered in foam. My next-door neighbor didn't care for Borracho, but when I told the retired veteran that Borracho was a Republican, he took that as a positive and was willing to overlook Borracho's other frailties."

Dr. Pangloss explained that Scott Steinbeck had given him Borracho as a Christmas gift. Dr. Pangloss said that the father, a pitbull, had crashed through Steinbeck's wooden fence and impregnated his chihuahua Petunia.

"The first time I held Borracho he bit me, but there was a machismo in this mutt that I admired. He would have been a great mascot for the bloggers: He never took shit from anyone! I will miss Borracho. He was fiendishly funny. I would give him a shot of tequila and he would turn into a cat. I have never seen a dog scale a tree like Borracho. He was unique.

"Petunia is ready to burst again. The father is apparently a Great Dane. Scott says that I can have the pick of the litter. I don't know. I have this image of a gorilla impregnating a human. I'm really not sure."

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