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Father texts son.

Father: I put $200 in your pizza account.

Son: Okay.

Father: Do u have all the credit card info?

Son: Yeah.

Father: Who takes care of his mofo?

Son: u Dad.

Father: Luv ya, Big Guy.

Son: Luv u too. Can we take out 60 bucks for some Vans?

Father: u just bought Vans! Another pair?

Son: Hell yeah.

Father: Mofo! I bought u Vans not too long ago. I bought u several new shirts. I paid for your girlfriend's bracelet. I just put $200 in your pizza account. I feed u like a king. I'm not Midas with the golden touch. I give your mother $1200 each month in child support. Why don't u ask her?

Son: She bought me jeans, but she says she doesn't have any more money. Can we get bucks out of the pizza account?

Father: No!

Son: Okay.

TWO DAYS LATER:

Son: I'm getting a haircut.

Father: Good.

Son: When can we get those Vans?

Father: Maybe in a week when I have money coming into my account.

Son: Okay.

Father: Miss u.

Son: Miss u too

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