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Says Annie Gunn: "I don't know if I would prefer being raped by a man in black like Zorro with his swashbuckling sword or fucked by two black guys at once!?!?"

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L ike a hound pointing to its game, the Spring Breaker followed his boner to his condo with the blond co-ed in tow. She had stepped up to the beer bong thrice and could barely walk. He led her into his room and stripped her of her thong as if he were peeling a banana. He was soon straddling her when he stopped an inch short of entering her shaved pussy. "I must confess something," he said. "What?" she slurred. "I have tested positive for HIV." "Have you tested positive for Coronavirus?" she asked. "No." "Then let's fuck, cowboy!!!" 
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I was standing at the bar at Cobbleheads when I saw owner Joe Kenney walking past. I grabbed him by the bicep. "Pretty flabby for a guy from Phillly," I said. "Fuck you, Sully," snapped Joe before continuing with that goofy accent. "What do you want?" "I didn't get a chance to wish you Happy St. Patrick's Day! I'd pinch you on the butt since you're not wearing green, but you have a lousy lookin' ass. Let's toast the San Patricio Battalion." "A bunch of filthy traitors," spat Joe. "General Scott should have hung all the bastards instead of branding the majority of them." "You were in the Herald saying that Mexico and the United States had special ties as a result of these Irishmen switching sides in a war that Abraham Lincoln criticized as imperialism run amok." "It's all about business," confessed Joe. "I can't express my true sentiments about those Benedict Arnolds. I h...
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Don Pedro: I'm sitting here at The Sportsman with a hot prostitute and a cold beer. What do I call her "hot"? Because she fucks me for free. She respects her elders. When worse comes to worse, she gives me a senior discount. Who is the mayor plundering today? I was going to use "fucking," but plundering evokes "raping," which I don't want to associate with the positive image I have of "fucking." If it weren't for the anticipation of my next fuck, I don't think I would get up in the morning. Back to plundering: Who is county judge plundering today? Who is the the bishop buttfucking today? I mean plundering today? Who is Trump plundering today? Or who isn't Trump plundering today? We know who The Brownsville Herald is plundering today. The newspaper is plundering its readers by writing about the mayor, the county judge, the state senator and the president's wonderful contributions to our community. And who am I plundering to...
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