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Father Jesus P. Cadissimo, the unfrocked priest excommunicated from the Catholic Church after accusing a previous bishop of surrounding himself with pedophiles who kept their true intentions hidden beneath the cloth, joined Dr. Polyphemous Pangloss, the holistic guru who practices but preaches that the sole difference between a doctor and a vulture is that the latter waits until you are dead to pick you clean, met for breakfast at The Toddle Inn where the gossip is as pleasing to the ear as the restaurant's food is to the mouth.

Doctor: Trump bawls that violent protests are unacceptable after an armed white cop kills an unarmed black man in broad daylight, but a Brownsville high school student kneels at her graduation ceremony to bring attention to the systematic racism that riddles our country and the BISD condemns her for expressing her First Amendment rights.

Father: To take a knee is a show of respect. At church we worship God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit, the Virgin Mary and the saints by kneeling. We kneel at mass, at confession and during other religious ceremonies and before the clergy.

Doctor: Exactly. Right! We kneel before the flag to show our respect. We have no problem with an 18-year-old Marine lying flat on his back after he has been killed in Afghanistan who gave his life in a pointless war allegedly so an 18-year-old student could express her disgust with a country whose leaders disrespect our flag with their blatant outrages.

Father: I can even imagine her kneeling before the flag to protest that this young man had died for nothing. What do you find more nauseating, Doc? Trump touching a young girl or Trump fondling the Bible?

Doctor: This was his impression of leading the people to the Promised Land when he crossed the street from the White House to the church, but instead of depending on God to open the Red Sea for him, he depended on a military escort to open a path through a gathering of peaceful protestors so he could pose with the bible held high in his hand like John Brown leading a black revolt only Trump carries a burning cross as he masses his white racists in their unholy war to Make America Great Again by reclaiming our nation for the Aryan race.

Father: Trump is the face of Armageddon. Do you think he would rail against us if we bowed before him? He wants to wrap himself in the flag and hold a crucifix high in the air and demand that we pay homage to him in his satanic crusade that will end in his fanatical followers plunging into the abyss and burning in the bowels of hell. It would be easier for Hitler to pass through the eye of a needle than it will be for Trump to enter heaven. The man is evil. You put a "d" in front of the word and you have devil.

Doctor: I couldn't imagine performing an autopsy on his soul.

Father: Don't preoccupy yourself, Doc. This serpent has no soul. 

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