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Former Cameron County Judge Carlos Cascos met with President Donald Trump at Valley Baptist Medical Center. Trump was transferred to Brownsville late Friday night when he discovered that there was a Republican plot to end his life. Senator Mitch McConnell and his colleagues feel that Trump and Vice President Mike Pence will be defeated soundly November 3rd against Joe Biden and Kamala Harris. They want to replace the pair with Mitt Romney and Nikki Haley. They were plotting with Walter Reed Medical Center physicians to inject an undetectable substance into Trump that would cause a heart attack. When Democrats discovered that Trump's life was at risk, they whisked him away to Brownsville in order to protect him.

Cascos is personal friends with Dr. Polyphemous Pangloss who is in charge of Trump's care. Dr. Pangloss, after informing the press that the president's condition was improving, met with Cascos in order to arrange a private interview with the President. When The Murphy Report discovered that Cascos had met Trump, Managing Editor Scott Steinbeck called Cascos. They have been longtime drinking partners. Cascos agreed to meet with Steinbeck at The Murphy Report's office. Over a bottle of an expensive Malbec, Cascos agreed to be on the record and no subject was off the table. Not surprisingly, Cascos was his usual straight self. Rumors are swirling that he wants a rematch against Cameron County Judge Eddie Treviño in 2022.

Steinbeck: What was the point of the meeting?

Cascos: Dr. Pangloss is an old friend. He called me and said that the president was intensely paranoid. He told me that all Republicans were against him, but I told him that wasn't true. I told him that our county's most prominent Republican wasn't part of any anti-Trump conspiracy. His eyes lit up. I asked him if he would like to meet with you. He said of course.

Steinbeck: How did it go?

Cascos: I told him that he needed to speak louder. There were thousands outside the hospital screaming, "Asesino! We're not rapists! Asesino! We're not rapists! Pay back is a bitch, ain't it, puto!"

Steinbeck: Who were these people?

Cascos: They identified themselves as the "Voices for the Dead." More than 2,500 Rio Grande Valley residents have died in the last six months from COVID and these were their family members protesting Trump's presence on the border.

Steinbeck: Did he raise his voice?

Cascos: He didn't sound like the Trump we heard verbally insulting Biden during the debates. He had a slight cough and there were a couple of times he needed to catch his breath, but he made himself heard over the thousands outside our window.

Steinbeck: How did the conversation begin?

Cascos: He wanted to know if Dr. Pangloss was a Democrat. When I said he was, the President expelled a deep sigh of relief.

Steinbeck: Where did the conversation proceed?

Cascos: He wanted to know if I was going to vote for him?

Steinbeck: Are you voting for him?

Cascos: I told him I was voting for him. I didn't want him to lose his confidence in me, but I was raised a Democrat and I became a Republican because I thought the Democrats were out-of-control economically. As an accountant, I couldn't in good faith remain a Democrat. I considered myself a Bush Republican. I'm not a Trump Republican. The man in the hospital is a fool. We need stability in the White House. I'm voting for Biden. If you love this country, a vote for Trump is an expression of hate for our nation.

Steinbeck: How did he react to your response?

Cascos: He said that Biden was in for a big surprise and that millions of Americans were committed to his reelection. They respected him for not allowing COVID to intimidate him. He added that his refusal to wear a mask, social-distance and bring thousands of people together was a demonstration of the bravery that he would have displayed in Vietnam if it hadn't been for developing bone spurs from playing too much golf. He did voice concerns that menopausal spinsters were sending him get-well cards with long rhapsodies describing their sexual fantasies with him. He confessed that nothing depresses him more than an ugly, aging woman.

Steinbeck: Was there anything he said that surprised you?

Cascos: It was what he didn't say that surprised me.

Steinbeck: What was that?

Cascos: He wanted to know if there was public support for his Supreme Court Amy Coney Barrett. He wanted to know if Hope Hicks and Kellyanne Conway were doing well? He asked if they had buried Ruth Bader Ginsburg yet?

Steinbeck: Those seem like reasonable questions. Why did you find his inquiries so odd?

Cascos: I told you I was surprised by what he didn't say. He never asked for Melania.

Steinbeck: Not once?

Cascos: He never mentioned her name once.

Steinbeck: He's a cold-hearted motherfucker, isn't he?

Cascos: He has his priorities and if you aren't one of them, he isn't interested in your existence. I wouldn't be surprised if Melania died, he would skip the burial with the excuse that he had to work on his putting.

Steinbeck: What else did the pervert say?

Cascos: That was it. Dr. Pangloss came in and told the president that he needed to extract blood and submit him to other procedures and it would be best if I would go. I wished the President a speedy recovery when he suddenly farted. He literally stunk up the whole room. I thought I was going to faint the stench was so strong.

Steinbeck: Everybody knows he's full of shit. 

Cascos: I had no idea he was a walking sewer.

Steinbeck: When is Dr. Pangloss discharging him?

Cascos: I don't know, but I hope soon. The natives are restless and they may storm the Bastille if the hospital doesn't get him out of Brownsville as soon as possible. He has all these families' blood on his hands and they're capable of vigilante justice. Somebody needs to tell them that they have to be patient; there will be justice November 3rd.