227

I took a seat across the booth from Max Maxwell at The Toddle Inn. There was only one couple at a table in a corner at the other side of Brownsville's most popular restaurant for breakfast.

"You look dazed, Max?"

The debate.

"You mean the debacle."

It was awful. I've never witnessed anything so disgusting and depressing in my decades of following politics.

"What did you expect? You put a man in a cage with a rabid lion and a bloody mess is inevitable. Trump loves big crowds and he knew that 100 million Americans would be watching and the huge audience rattling the bars turned him ravenous. Biden tried to comport himself like a ringmaster, but he's lucky he escaped with his life. If he had been a bullfighter, he would have received two ears and tail for the way he exposed Trump as a wild beast."

When does this madness end? He calls upon the racists to man the polls roaring that he can only lose this election if it's rigged. He calls our soldiers "suckers" and "losers" although if the truth be known, we're the "suckers" and "losers" since we're the ones paying our income taxes and he is hardly paying a dime. His father must have been a wacko and his mother must have been crazy because he unleashed a performance that was nothing less than insane. It doesn't take too much intelligence to deduce that he's the reason we've lost more than 200,000 Americans to COVID with another 7 million diagnosed with the virus. He has left our economy in a shambles when he failed to meet the pandemic's challenge and he pours gas on the flames of civil unrest because he is counting on chaos to assure him a second term.

"The man defies gravity. Instead of crashing back to earth, he ascends higher and higher. We keep waiting for him to fly too close to the sun, but it's obvious that his wings weren't attached to his body with wax."

There's no doubt that Trump made a fool out of himself, but did Biden have game?

"You should know this phenomenon better than anyone else since you're the sports guru. Most fans unfamiliar with soccer don't appreciate the significance of a tie. A tie can be both a win and a loss at the same time. If the polls are correct, and that's a big if, Biden is in first and Trump is in second with the season in its closing stages. Based on their places in the standings, Biden doesn't want to lose his advantage while Trump has to close the distance. There seems to be a consensus that Biden triumphed because he wasn't making unforced errors, but for the sake of argument, let's say it was a draw. A draw is a win for Biden. He doesn't lose any ground and a loss for Trump because he doesn't close the gap."

I always said you were a sportswriter instead of a beat reporter at heart, but you chose the prose of objectivity over the poetry of emotion. There are experts who contend that Biden should skip the next two debates. What would be your advice?

"If Biden succumbed to that option, you could argue that Trump won the first debate because he bullied Biden into throwing in the towel. Americans hate cowards as much as they hate bullies. Biden weathered the storm. He can navigate with more confidence because there is nothing new Trump can rain upon him."

But can we handle another circus?

"Sure. I'm looking forward to the next confrontation. Biden is a veteran at the political game, but he has to be more measured. He can't be drawn into Trump's antics and engage in insults. Trump isn't fooling anyone anymore. Biden needs to ignore Trump. That will drive Trump battier and battier. Let Trump spew his nonsense, but don't respond to his idiocies. Look directly into the camera and address the issue at hand in a calm and collected voice. If Trump says something outrageous that requires a response to assert his machismo, say "that simply is not true" and return to the subject. When Trump is out-of-control, Biden needs to alternate between his winning smile and chuckling as he gazes upon the freak show with an amused countenance."

We've got to win this goddamn race.

"We're committed to victory. We will not be defeated without a fight that is worth sacrificing one's life in this noble crusade. This is WWIII. The repercussions for our country if we fall short in our sacred endeavor could be as devastating for the nation as losing a world war. We are battling for the soul of our people."

I'm still shaking from last night.

"Keep a stiff upper lip, compadre. There's reason to be optimistic. At a minimum, Biden didn't lose ground and Trump didn't gain ground. By the way, who do the Cowboys play this week?"

The Browns. The Cowboys are favored by 4.5 and the over/under is 55.5. Take the points and bet heavy on the over.

"There you go, big guy. Your feet are on the ground. I'll take your advice. Seattle covered both last week as you predicted. And being the gambler that you are, put a $1000 on Biden. That's my brain talking. Not my heart."