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With the COVID death toll spiking President Trump had other matters on his mind. After alleging that soldiers were "suckers" and "losers" for sacrificing their bodies in defense of the nation, he continued his attacks on the military by accusing its top brass of promoting wars in order to enrich their industrial clients. Did a ghost from a hippie past invade his brain and fill him with the anti-military/industrial complex rhetoric? We thought all business was good, but Trump is not getting his cut of the Pentagon's action.

Later in the day he appeared before a group of conservative Jewish supporters and said, "I am not the Messiah. I am not the Second Coming. I can assure all the yids in the audience that this goy has been circumcised and has one helluva dick. I've been told it's simply gorgeous, but I'm not one to exaggerate. Let me say to those who have questioned the size of my hands: My schlong is long, very, very long. I know the 'fake' press will minimize my personal numbers, but more than a few women have been energized after I grabbed their pussies."

A liberal plant in the audience caught Trump's attention and he gave him permission to speak. The individual turned the volume to full on his cell and held it high in the air. He displayed a video in which the president was speaking of Senator John McCain who was shot down while flying a mission over North Vietnam and spent six years in a prison camp.

"I don't like losers," said Trump on the tape. "He's not a war hero. He 's a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren't captured."

The vast majority of the attendees were Trump donators. They started hissing and booing the person who had had the audacity to embarrass the president and the rest of them by association. The tumult began to rise, but Trump, raising his arms like Moses when the latter parted the Red Sea, asked for calm.

"I will not make any excuses for my beliefs. I don't like losers and John McCain was a loser. And you know who else was a loser? Jesus Christ! Yes sir! Jesus Christ was a goddamn loser."

The thousand or so packed in the audience--Trump later estimated the crowded in excess of 5,000--leaped to their feet and gave the president a standing ovation.

"Crucify him!" they shouted. "Crucify him again!"

"Like McCain, he was captured. He was riding a fucking donkey. At least McCain was flying a plane. And like McCain, they tortured him. But while they tortured McCain for years, the Romans only tortured him for hours. If he was the son of God as he claimed, you would have thought he could have handled a little punishment."

Again the Jewish crowd leaped to their feet and gave Trump another standing ovation.

"He was a false prophet!" bellowed an Ashkenazim.

"They should have lynch the long-haired freak," echoed a Sephardim.

"McCain wasn't a complete sucker because he managed to escape with his life, but Jesus Christ was a real loser because he lost his life," continued Trump. "My heroes don't get captured, tortured and executed. I have to tip my hat to the Buddha and Muhammad. They lived full lives without sacrificing themselves for a cause.

"But you have to cut Jesus Christ some slack. His father raped innocent Mary and he sent his son to die. I've had my share of women, but I've never raped any of them. And can you imagine if I sent Don Jr. to surrender his life in order to assure my presidency? The Democrats would nail me to a cross."

As Trump left the event, his Jewish admirers paved his way toward the exit with palm fronds.

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