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You have unprotected sex as part of a fling and you live with the constant fear that you may infect your most constant companion.

You walk across the bridge to Matamoros because you can't resist a plate of cabrito, but you can't enjoy your meal with the fear that a violent incident might engulf you at any moment.

This is paranoia.

This is the same paranoia that most of us are experiencing as COVID deaths will pass 170,000 in the next two days.

You have to go to the supermarket to shop. There are other essential tasks that entail interaction with others. There are thousands in Brownsville and South Texas who have to go to work and cannot isolate themselves.

You never escape the paranoia.

There is no thought of attending gatherings. There is no thought of eating at a restaurant. There is no thought of playing a round of golf even though social distancing is possible, but the 19th hole camaraderie proves irresistible. We are social animals and the need to rub shoulders with fellow humans is as strong as our sexual urges.

We have second thoughts about our spouses when they come home from an essential outing. We have second thoughts about our children sharing any space with anyone other than their parents and their siblings. We have second thoughts about inviting our parents or our grown children and their mates to our homes for dinner.

Will the paranoia end? Every action is a dice throw until we have all received vaccinations and tests are readily available with a 24-hour result. Anything less and we must live with the reality that any of us can be ambushed at any time.

We live with the persistent paranoia that this pandemic will get worse before it gets better.

For all of us who recognize the culprit for our suffering, our paranoia will continue to reign while Trump rules. His incompetency has sentenced us to a prison of paranoia.

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