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With numerous politicians requesting money in order to better serve the public, we artists need to turn to the public in order to finance our noble endeavors. It's tough being a starving artist. I'm a true believer that writers, musicians, painters and all the other transcendent expressions that the muses inspire would come to fruition if we tortured souls had a few more bucks in our pockets.

I am therefore asking my many friends and followers to reach deep into their pockets and help me raise $100,000. If you have to pull your children out of private schools in order to put them in the BISD as part of assisting me, I am begging that you make that sacrifice.

I need to spend a year in Portugal, preferably in the university town of Coimbra, writing my novel entitled The Cockroach. It is a story about an Afghanistan veteran who returns from the war minus his genitals as the result of a wound suffered on the battlefield.

He faces an existentialist dilemma: Should he commit suicide or accept God or embrace life? There are three characters who symbolize each of these choices. There is the Romanian tight-rope walker who relishes the thought that one day he will fall to his death. There is the Spanish gypsy who promises her love if he will dedicate his life to God. And there is the Lisbon transvestite who attempts to convince him to succumb to ineffable pleasure.

Why Portugal? Portugal is the closest approximation to heaven on earth. Since this will be a hellish undertaking that will dig deep into the depths of my soul and will require that I will have to live without the love of Olivia and Mick as I embark on this literary voyage for a year, I need a locale where I can eat and drink well. In this nightmarish battle to the death with my own demons, I will not be able to complete my work if I'm not inhabiting the perfect setting.

I am accepting any donation, but there are five categories that will earn the contributors the book's dedication. There is the $1000 Warren Buffet bronze gift. For those who are in a more generous mood, there is the $2500 Jeff Bezos silver gift. For those with mortal sins on their souls who wish to redeem themselves, there is the $5000 Mark Zuckerberg gold gift. For those with a deep love for Brownsville, there is the $10,000 Elon Much Platinum gift. Last, but hardly least, there is the $20,000 Bill Gates Family Circle gift.

Family and friends have told me that I could squeeze the public for $250,000, but I'm not a greedy individual. Anyone asking for that sum is sleeping with a different prostitute every night. I would be more than thankful for $100,000.  

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