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Say the five dead in Cameron County: "Gracias for leading us to safety President Trump like a coyote guiding illegals north through el monte even though a few may perish crossing King Ranch."
Say the 450 dead in Texas: "Thank-you, President Trump, for proving to the religious nuts that Jesus didn't rise on Easter Sunday because none of us have returned from death."
Say the 39,000 dead in the United States: "We applaud you, Mr. Trump, for keeping the press honest. They didn't give you credit for the huge numbers who attended your inauguration, but these low-life journalists have learned their lesson and are giving you credit for your big numbers now. Cheers! Twice as many Americans have died than in any other country."
The President can never hold back his temper when it comes to "fake news." He said he was misquoted when the newspapers recorded him as saying, "We are going to win so much you may even get tired of winning and you'll say please, please, Mr. President, it's too much winning! We can't take it anymore."
Kelly Conway, the vacuous virago who sells herself to the Far Right as Trump's favorite strumpet in his harem of blond bimbos, accused reporters of purposely changing the President's discourse to give the impression to the public that he was overly optimistic about the Coronavirus outcome. Conway clarified on the White House South Lawn what the President said:
"We are going to die so much you may even get tired of dying and you'll say please, please, Mr. President, it's too much dying! We can't take it anymore."
Offered Father Jesus P. Cadissimo, who ministers to the Cameron Park faithful despite being excommunicated from the Brownsville diocese after he accused the previous bishop of protecting pedophile priests sodomizing scores of altar boys, this caveat to the crucifixion:
"It was Christ's intention to sacrifice his life on the cross to cleanse humanity of all sin, but he would have refused his father's request if he had known that the latter was going to create Trump. Too much is simply too much. What's the goddamn point of hell's existence if we're not going to punish mutants like Trump!"
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