16

DONALD  TRUMP: "We will hit 50,000 deaths and one million Coronavirus cases in the blink of an eye. I feel sorry for the blind who can't watch the hospitals stack one body on top of another. The Empire State Building ain't got nothing on my pile of cadavers. I may construct the Tower of Babel with human bodies. I like big numbers and the media is giving me the credit I deserve. The press underestimated the attendance at my inauguration. Most the journalists chose to get drunk at their favorite bars; they couldn't handle that I had beaten their babe, Hillary. They keep repeating as if anyone were listening that she collected three million more votes than me. Eliminate California and New York, two failed states, and I kicked the shit out of the raving cunt. I won the electoral college, the only result that counts, in a rout. I won with a dead-beat vice president who lives in fear of his wife. He serves his old lady as if she were a beauty queen. I've seen Winter Texans in the Rio Grande Valley who don't require a bag over their heads. Women serve me. The Religious Right loves me because women accept that they are subservient to their husbands. Like Moses leading the Jews to the Promised Land, I am reclaiming this country for the white males and their spouses who know their places. Fox's Sean Hannity informed me that Coronavirus is claiming more Democratic lives than Republicans. Let the plague rage. The blacks, browns and Muslims now know who their daddy is. Nothing would give me greater joy than bashing the Chinese for the next four years. Goddamn slant-eyed bastards!"

(EDITOR'S NOTE: It's refreshing to hear Trump unplugged in this secret tape attained by The New York Times. "Grab them by the pussy!" he says. What's wrong with good, old-fashioned locker-room talk? Everybody knows that guys talk shit. Even black, brown, Muslim and Chinese machos talk shit. Men never grow tired bullshitting about a piece of ass and in Trump they can hear their own voices echoing in their minds. He sees a chick with perfect tits and a fine butt and he salivates like every healthy male does. He then repeats the same mantra that every male repeats when inebriated by female beauty: "I'd sure like to fuck that bitch!" Trump is so blunt and frank that it's not unfair to compare him with Honest Abe. Like George Washington, he cannot tell a lie. "I've had more ladies than Hugh Hefner and Jeffrey Epstein combined," he brags as he picks up his ball six feet from the hole and saves par by calling the putt a gimme. He's a man's man. He's a guy's guy. Like most cats, he has an angry wife at home. He needs a kitten on the side and she doesn't understand. She needs to do her part during the Coronavirus spread and quit insisting that they maintain social distancing. It's time for her to purr like a pussy cat. We might have less deaths and sicknesses if Melania would tend to her man like Michelle spoiled Barack. Michelle would never sleep in a separate bed, let alone in a separate room like that over-the-hill mannequin who speaks English with a worse accent than an illegal alien. But nothing slackens Trump's competitive spirit. He is betting that the country will not only celebrate Independence Day on July 4th, but the U.S. will have attained 100,000 deaths and three million cases by that date. He's taking bets and  giving odds. He knows that death wins in the end. And nobody loves big numbers more than Donald.)