13

"Why are you on the road, sir?"

I'm going to McAllen because I read on Facebook that one of the HEBs has toilet paper.

"Why are you on the road, sir?"

I'm going to South Padre Island because my hour glass ran out of sand.

"Why are you on the road, sir?"

I'm going to Matamoros to buy Viagra because I'm stuck at home with my wife and she wants to fuck three times a day.

"Why are you on the road, sir?"

I'm going to Los Fresnos to collect manure at the rodeo arena so I can fertilize the flowers I planted.

"Why are you on the road, sir?"

I'm going to San Benito to lay a wreath at Freddy Fender's grave because it's the anniversary of his death.

"Why are you on the road, sir?"

I'm going to Mercedes to purchase clothes for my kids because the outlets have end-of-the-school-year specials.

"Why are you on the road, sir?"

I'm going to Harlingen because the gringos can tell the Mexican-American cops to go fuck themselves.

"Why are you on the road, sir?"

I'm going to Pharr because I'm a reporter and I want to see how far I can go before a policeman stops me.

"Why are you on the road, sir?"

I'm going to Nuevo Progreso to have my dentist extract the gold from my teeth so I can pay the fine for the ticket that you are giving me.

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